DRAMA CINTA DITOLAK DUKUN BERTINDAK ATAU LOVE IS REFUSED DUKUN ACTED

Woaaahhhh....begitu lelah gue harus menyelesaikan text drama ini, ya maklum ini tugas dari guru, sebelumnya I want to say "thank you very much" for my group and my teachers, drama ini gue buat sendiri and ni drama bekisah komedi and cinta, ya gitulah anak SMA. Ya udah langsung di baca aja ya,oh iy ini terdiri dari 7 peran.

CINTA DITOLAK DUKUN BERTINDAK

Bell masuk pun berdering ring..ring..ring..” murid-murid masuk kekelas masing-masing. Di pagi hari itu ada siswa baru bernama saleh,lalu masuklah salah seorang  guru yang dipanggil bu buser, mulai lah perkenalan di mulai...

(Suasana didalam kelas sedang gemuruh)

Bu Buser         :”semuanya perhatikan saya sebentar............(disampingnya ada

 saleh si murid baru)”

Murid-murid tdk mendengarkan Bu Buser, mereka asyik dgn urusannya masing-masing.

Lalu bu buser memukul meja dgn kayu (kedeplak...plak...plak)

Anak-anak pun langsung terdiam begitupun dengan saleh disampingnya.

Bu Buser         :”Anak-anak kalian akan memiliki teman baru,silakan nak kenalkan dirimu ! (dengan gayanya yang killer)

                        Saleh               :”Ba..ba ..ik bu”

Lalu saleh mulai memperkenalkan dirinya

Saleh               :”hello,teman-teman eke saya SALEH,eke dari  

Palembang, eke harap teman-teman akan menjadi teman saya”

(murid-muridpun merasa ngantuk mendengarnya)

Bu Buser         : “saleh silakan duduk !”

Lalu saleh duduk di sebelah dewi. Ia memperkenalkan dirinya kepada dewi dengan gaya cucoknya.

                        Saleh               : “hyy..eke seli, ES E EL I......

                        Dewi               : “hah?”

                        Saleh               : “eeeeh maksud saya Saleh bin slamet”

                        Dewi               :”ooo,, Saleh bin Cong”

                        Saleh               :”bukan..bukan saleh bin cong tapi saleh bin slamet”

                        Dewi               : “oohh aku kira Saleh Bin Cong, aku Dewi (sambil

   mengulurkan tangannya)”

Lalu saleh juga mengulurkan tangannya, lalu mengambil bedak di tasnya,Dewi pun heran

Dengan Saleh.Pelajaran pun dimulai.....

            Dua jam kemudian ,Bell istirahat berbunyi............

Dewi menemui Ikhsan,teman dekat dan teman sekelasnya di kantin, kemudian saleh yang

Ingin ke kantin melihat mereka berdua. Setelah itu Dewi meninggalkan Ikhsan sendiri dikursi

panjang.Dan bertemu saleh di jalan

Dewi               :”hy Saleh !”

Saleh               :”Saleh...Saleh.. Seli tahu !

Dewi               :”oh iy Saleh”

Saleh               :”SELI.... ES E EL I !

Dewi               :”ia SELI!”

Dengan sedikit kesal Salih meninggalkan dewi(dgn gaya cucok). Dewi hanya heran saja,kemudian saleh duduk disamping ikhsan yang sedang makan Bakwan ,saleh mendekati ikhsan dgn gaya cucoknya tetapi ikhsan malah menjauh,ser..geser..geser..geser..ser....dak,, ikhsan akhirnya jatuh dari kursi dan salehpun menolong ikhsan sambil mengulurkan tangannya dan terjadilah saling pandang.Sepertinya saleh menyukai ikhsan,astaghfirullah adziim ikhsan tersadar......lalu ikhsan membayar Bakwan yang telah dimakannya,sedangkan saleh senyum-senyum saja.

                        Ikhsan             :”mpok saya makan bakwannya hanya satu,brp ?”

                        Mpok Ipeh      :”tadi Bakwan yang ada dipiring itu ada lima.kok kamu Cuma

  bilang makan satu”

                        Ikhsan             :”Sih Saleh bu yang makannya”

                        Saleh               :”ih,rempong de’ah eke ngak makannya kok malah nyalahin

 eke sih”

                        Mpok Ipeh      :”ngk tahu pokoknya kalian harus bayar semua yang kalian

                                                 makan”

                       

Ikhsan             :”Baiklah bu saya akan bayar 1 Bakwan yang saya makan

                         tadi,1000 kan bu,saleh kamu bayar 4 nya”

Saleh               :”jangan panggil eke saleh deh itu nama asli saya, kalau                                              panggilannya seli”

Ikhsan             :”astaghfirullahalladzim(sambil mengelus-ngelus dada)

Tiba-tiba saat ikhsan akan mengeluarkan uangnya,ada 4 Bakwan yang jatuh dari

kantongnya.

                        Mpok Ipah      :”Nah kan ketahuan ya,makan 5 bilangnya 1”

                        Ikhsan             :”Maaf bu saya lupa,hehe..lalu ikhsan meninggalkan uang 5rb

 dan langsung kabur”

                        Saleh               :”eke kabur juga ahh,,,,,,yayang ikhsan tunggu eke”

Di kelas, Saleh/Seli mendekati Dewi, kemudian ia duduk di bangku lingga,cewek tomboy teman sebangku dewi...

                        Seli                  :”Ikhsan itu siapa kamu ya ? Kenali dong eke kan murid baru

                                                 jadi eke butuh temen”

Dewi               :”teman akrab gue,emang ngapa ? kalau loh butuh temen,jadi 

                           temen gue aja”

Seli                  :”benar juga tuh kalau eke jadi temen loh,pasti ikhsan juga

  Bakal deket sama eke(sambil membayangkan ikhsan)”

Tiba-tiba lingga si tomboy datang membuat seli terkejut...............

                        Lingga             :”DOOOR..............”

                        Seli                  :”DO.OR.DO.OR..(agak latah) iiihhh buat eke terkejut deh”

                        Lingga             :”kenalin nama gue Lingga, inget EL I EN DUO GE A !”

                        Seli                  :”ia.... MANGGA kan ?”

                        Lingga             :”ngajak berantem loh (Dengan gaya tomboy)”

                        Seli                  :”enggak..enggak eke Cuma bercanda kok....,aku seli”

                        Dewi               :”Seli ini lingga teman sebangku ku, dia orangnya asyik dan

 baik kok”

                        Lingga             :”WWAAAAAAOOOOOWWW(gaya macan)”

                        Seli                  :”eke takut ih”

                        Lingga             :”nggak ngakk Cuma bercanda,hihihi”

Tiba-tiba lingga memanggil siti anak yang paling culun dan rajin dikelas,...

                        Lingga             :”siti, kemari !”(dengan gaya tomboynya)

                        Siti                   :”ada apa ngga ?”

                        Lingga             :”gue belum ngerjain pr bahasa inggris ! cepet kerjain pr gw !

                        Siti                   :”i.....iiaaa....ngga(takut)”

                        Lingga             :”CEPET !GAK PAKE LAMA!”

Lalu Siti meninggalkan lingga,dewi,dan Seli. Ia segera menyelesaikan pr Lingga dengan hati sedih

                        Dewi               :”Lingga,kamu jangan begitu dong sama Siti.Kasihan tahu !”

                        Lingga             :”aku Cuma bercanda, nanti aku belikan dia bakso di kantin”

                        Dewi               :”Yaudah, ya ampun aku haus banget, Seli kamu mau ngak

                                                  nemenin aku ke kantin beli minuman”

                        Seli                  :”Yaudah yuk,eke juga belum jajan tadi gara-gara sih ikhsan”

Lalu mereka pergi ke kantin,saat mereka di kantin tiba-tiba ada ikhsan yang memberi Kissbye,seli langsung GR kegirangan,ia membalas Kissbye karena ia pikir kissbye tsb untuk dia.Tapi ternyata Ikhsan kissbye kepada Dewi yang saat itu ada dibelakang seli. Seli sangat sangat cemburu dan malu.

            Bell masuk berbunyi ...

Bu buser masuk kekelas....saat bu Buser sedang menjelaskan,Seli sibuk berdandan lalu bu buser yang melihatnya dan memarahinya.

            Bu Buser         :”Hy kamu tahu tidak ! ini sekolah bukan salon !

            Seli                  :”Maaf bu”

Dan ternyata Bu Buser yang malah ikut berdandan ..

Kemudian ia melanjutkan penjelasannya. Ikhsan yang duduk dibelakang Siti sibuk makan nyam...nyam...nyam...

            Siti                   :”Ikhsan jangan makan terus,nanti Bu Buser akan memarahimu”

Ikhsan tetap melanjutkan makan tiba-tiba suara kentut yang besar berbunyi “TTTUUUUUUTTTT”

            Bu Buser                                             :”Siapa Kentut?”

            Semua murid(kecuali dewi dan Seli)     :”Ikhsan Bu”

Bu buser mendekati Ikhsan ternyata Ikhsan sedang makan

            Bu Buser         :”eh ini sekolah bukan Kantin,jangan ulangi lagi kalau tidak kamu

  tidak dapat mengikuti ulangan”

            Ikhsan             :”Iya bu maaf...”

Bell pulang berbunyi....

Ikhsan memiliki rencana untuk menembak Dewi,lalu ia meminta tolong kepada Siti si culun untuk membawa dewi kekantin.

            Ikhsan             :”Sit..Sit tolong bantu aku bawakan dewi ke kantin aku ingin

  Mengatakan cinta kepada ia”

            Siti                   :”oke deh”

Lalu siti memanggil Dewi...sementara Ikhsan sedang menunggu di kantin

            Siti                   :"wi, sini tolong bantu aku mencari kunci motorku sepertinya kunci

  motor ku jatuh di kantin deh”

            Dewi               :”yuuk Ku bantu cari”

Dikantin Ikhsan menembak Dewi dan Dewi menerima cinta Ikhsan

            Ikhsan             :”Dewi, jika kamu menerima cintaku ambil bunga ini. Jika tidak buang

                                    bunga ini !”

perlahan-lahan Dewi mengambil bunga tsb, Dan Ikhsan sangat senang........

Seli mendengar tentang itu lalu seli pergi ke dukun......

Di rumah dukun....

            Seli                  :”Mbah eke ingin orang yang eke suka menyukai eke juga”

            Mbah Dukun   :”itu hal mudah nak”

Lalu Mbah Dukun mengeluarkan segala manteranya......komat-kamit mulutnya lalu airnya di sembur....bur..

            Mbah Dukun   :”Orang yang kamu sukai akan menyukai mu tapi ada satu syarat kamu

jangan kentut di depan orang yang kamu sukai.Jika kamu kentut maka manteranya gagal dan kamu akan mati”

            Seli                  :”Baik mbah saya setuju..”

Lalu ketika seli mau pulang......

            Mbah Dukun   :”Eittsssss..... uangnya”

            Seli                  :”ini mbah.....”

Keesokan harinya ikhsan telah berubah ikhsan sangat dekat dengan Seli mereka selalu bersama dan Ikhsan melupakan Dewi,Pada suatu ketika Ikhsan mengajak Seli Kekantin makan gorengan.

Ikhsan             :”Seli ke kantin yuk makan?”

Seli                  :”ayuk ahh eke mau....”

Ternyata Seli terlalu banyak makan gorengan.Lalu tiba-tiba.......”TTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT” Seli kentut seperti  yang dikatakan mbah dukun.Maka mantera itu hilang,Ikhsan kembali kepada Dewi dan seli mati seketika.....

  

 ~TAMAT~ 

  

LOVE IS REFUSED, DUKUN ACT

           

Bell is ringing ‘ring..ring..ring’ the students come into their each classes. That morning there is a new student,his name is Saleh.Then come in one of the teacher,that is called by MOM BUSER. Next, the introduction is started........

            (the condition in the class is so noisy)

            Mom Buser     :”Look at me, please..........(beside her,there is Saleh who is the new

                                      student)”      

The students don’t hear her.They are busy with their each business, Then Mom Buser fight the table with a stick (kedeplak......plak.....plak...)

Immediately, the student is calm and saleh is too.

            Mom Buser     :”Everybody, you’ll have a new friend. Please introduce yourself (Mom

   Buser with her killer style asks Saleh to introduce himself )

            Saleh               :”O..oo..kay Mom”

Then Saleh begins to introduce himself......

            Saleh               :”hello guys,eke Saleh,eke come from Palembang,eke hope you..you..you(point his finger to the students) will be my friend.”

(All students feel sleepy)

           

            Bu Buser         :”Saleh,please sit next to Dewi”

Then Saleh sits next to Dewi and he introduces himself (with her cucok style) to Dewi.

            Saleh               :”Hy,,,eke Seli. ES I EL AI...

            Dewi               :”hah??”

            Saleh               :”eeeehhh, eke mean Saleh bin slamet”

            Dewi               :”oooo..Saleh bin Cong”

            Saleh               :”no..no.no Saleh Bin Cong but Saleh bin Slamet”

            Dewi               :”I guess Saleh bin Cong, I’m Dewi (reaching Saleh's right hand)

Then Saleh does too and take his powder in his bag and Dewi wonders with Saleh.Then the lesson is begun.............

            Two hours later, the bell is ringing ‘ring...ring..ring‘. Dewi meets Ikhsan her close and classmate in the canteen.Then Saleh who wants to go to the canteen seeing both of them. Dewi leaves Ikhsan alone in a long chair and meets Saleh on the way.

            Dewi               :”Hy Saleh !”

            Saleh               :”Saleh...Saleh...Seli.You know !

            Dewi               :”Oh ya Saleh. Eeheh”

            Saleh               :”SELI ! ES I EL AI !

            Dewi               :”Alright, Seli !

Then Seli leaves Dewi (with his cucok style) and Dewi only wonders.Then Seli sits next to Ikhsan who is eating Bakwan. Saleh approaches Ikhsan (with his cucok style) and Ikhsan moves away, move...move away...way...way..way...dak ! at last Ikhsan falls down from the chair and Saleh helps Ikhsan and gives his right hands to Ikhsan, Ikhsan holds Seli’s  and Ikhsan is looking at Seli. Oh my god ! Seli likes Ikhsan. Astgfirullahaladziim.....Ikhsan wokes up..Then Ikhsan pays Bakwan that has been eaten by him while Seli only smiles happily.

            Ikhsan         :”Bik, I only ate one bakwan,how much is it?”

            Bik Ipeh      :”Wait, Beforehand, There were five Bakwan in the plate but why do     
                                   you only say that you have eaten one !”

            Ikhsan         :”Bik....Saleh has eaten them all”

            Saleh           :”Ih rempong de’ah. Eke don’t eat them. why do you say like that

                                   Ikhsan ?”

Bik Ipeh      :”I don’t know ! all of you must pay Bakwan that have you eaten !”

Ikhsan         :”Alright Bik, I’ll pay one bakwan that has been eaten and Saleh you pay four Bakwan !

Saleh           :”Don’t call eke Saleh ! it’s my real name. Call eke SELI !

Ikhsan         :”astaghfirullahaladziiim.............”

Suddenly,when Ikhsan wants to take his money in his pocket of pants,There are four bakwan fall down from his pocket.

                        Bik Ipeh      :”Nah I know...., you eat five you say one !”

                        Ikhsan         :”I’m sorry Bik. I forget hehe..Then Ikhsan leaves his five

                                              thousand rupiah and go away.....”

                        Saleh           :”eke also go away ah. Beb.... wait eke..”

            At the class, Saleh/Seli approaches Dewi.

                        Seli                  :”who's Ikhsan? Know eke with him dong,eke a new

 student,eke need many friends.”

                        Dewi               :”my close friend,why do you ask? If you need friends,you can be my

                                                friend”

Seli                  :“you’re right if eke be your friend,ikhsan also will be my

 friend (imagining Ikhsan)

            Suddenly, Lingga, a tomboy girl comes up and makes Seli surprised.

                        Lingga             :”DOOR !”

                        Seli                  :”DO.OR..DO.OR...(shock) ihhh you suprised me !

                        Lingga             :”I’m Lingga. Remember L I N G G A !

                        Seli                  :”ya, MANGGA, right !”

                        Lingga             :”do you want to fight ? (with tomboy style)

                        Seli                  :”Eke just kidding :p. Eke Seli “

                        Dewi               :”Seli,this is Lingga my friend. She is kind and easy going”

                        Lingga             :”WAAAOOOOWWW (tiger style)”

                        Seli                  :”eke afraid ih”

                        Lingga             :”No..no..no I’m just kidding :P hihihi “

Suddenly, Lingga calls Siti, a funny and dilligent student in the class...

                        Lingga             :”Siti,Come here !(with her tomboy style)”

                        Siti                   :”What’s up ngga ?”

                        Lingga             :”I haven’t done my english homework yet ! Do my

 homework quickly !

                        Mutia               :”O....O...KAY ngga (afraid)

                        Lingga             :”Quickly ! Don’t be too long !”

Then Siti leaves Lingga,Dewi,and Seli. Soon she does lingga’s homework sadly

                        Dewi               :”Lingga,Don’t be like that with Siti, take pity on her !”

                        Lingga             :”I am just kidding, after that I’ll buy her a bowl of meatball at

 canteen”

Dewi               :”alright.OMG ! I’m very thirsty. Would you like to company

 me to buy AQUA at canteen Seli ?”

                        Seli                  :”Yuhu.....cin. Let’s go !

Then they go to the canteen,there is Ikhsan there, Ikhsan gives kissbye. Seli is confident self. He gives back kissbye to Ikhsan because he thinks Ikhsan kissbye to him. The fact, Ikhsan gives Kissbye to Dewi That is Back of Seli. Seli is jealous and shy,hahaha :D

            Bell is ringing ‘ring..ring..ring’

Mom Buser comes into class........

            When she is explaining the lesson. Seli is making up. Then Mom Buser sees and advices her angrily.

                        Mom Buser     :”Hy you !(pointing her finger to Seli) do you know this is school

   not Salon”

                        Seli                  :”I’m sorry Mom”

Bu buser also makes up (hehe) and then she continues teaching while Ikhsan who sits back of Siti is eating. Nyamy...Nyamy...Nyamy.

                        Siti                   :”Ikhsan, Don’t eat again. If Mom knows, she’ll be angry”  

Ikhsan is still continuing to eat. Suddenly there is a big Kentut sound

“TTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT”

                        Mom Buser     :”who’s that?”

                        All students     :”Ikhsan Mom”

Mom Buser approaches Ikhsan,the fact Ikhsan is eating....

                        Mom Buser     :”eh,this is school not canteen,don’t repeat it again if  you still do I
 guarantee that you can’t join the examination!”

                        Ikhsan             :”Okay Mom, I promise. I’m sorry.

            Going home Bell is ringing ‘ring...ring..ring’.............

Ikhsan has a plan to shoot Dewi.Then, he asks a help to Siti,a funny girl to take Dewi to the canteen.

            Ikhsan             :”Sit...Sit,please help me ! take Dewi to the canteen, I want to say “I

                                    love her”

            Siti                   :”Okey deh”

Then Siti calls Dewi...while Ikhsan is waiting in the canteen.

            Siti                   :”wi,come here ! please help me to seek my motorcycle key. I think it’s

                                    gone at canteen”

            Dewi               :”oke, I’ll help you”

In the canteen, Ikhsan shoots Dewi and Dewi accepts Ikhsan’s love....

Ikhsan             :”Dewi, if you accept my love. Take this flower, if not. Throw away it

                                    !”

Carefully,Dewi takes the flower and Ikhsan is really happy...

Seli hears about it. Then he goes to Mbah Dukun..

(At Mbah Dukun’s house)...

            Seli                  :”Mbah,eke want someone that eke love, love eke too”

            Mbah               :”it’s so easy”

Then Mbah Dukun reads her manteras. Komat-kamit her mouth and water is Bur...bur....

            Mbah Dukun   :”Someone that you love,will love you but you must promise to not

kentut in front of him.If you kentut, The mantera will be gone and you’ll be death”

            Seli                  :”Okay Mbah eke agree”

When Seli will go....

            Mbah Dukun   :”Eittsssss....money?”

            Seli                  :”eke forget mbah.here it is mbah”

After that, Ikhsan has changed. He is close with Seli. They are always together.Ikhsan forgets Dewi. One day, Ikhsan asks Seli to go to the canteen to eat Bakwan.”

            Ikhsan             :”Seli,follow me to the canteen. We’ll eat there “

            Seli                  :”Yuhu.....eke want ahhh”

Seli eats Bakwan so many..Suddenly “TTTUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” Seli kentut. Like Mbah Dukun said. The mantera is gone.and Ikhsan wokes up, and loves Dewi again while Seli is death.

~THE END~